One-of-a-Kind for Your Wedding

One-of-a-Kind

for your Wedding

          Just last week I interviewed a bride about her vision for her wedding.  Over and over she said that she and her fiancé wanted something “different”.  Of course, when I heard that, I wondered if we were headed towards something “odd”—did she want to wear black or have her reception look like a Las Vegas casino?  Fortunately, she didn’t want anything like that; she just wanted some way to have her wedding stand out from all the others so it would be remembered. 

        Weddings, by their very nature have a lot in common.  Allowing for differences in religion or ethnic traditions, the ceremony consists of the couple taking vows, committing themselves to each other in front of witnesses, family and friends.  It is usually followed by a party where food and drinks are served, there are toasts and dancing.  Many couples, in order to have something “different” avoid many of the long-standing traditions like tossing the bride’s bouquet and garter and leaving in a shower of rice.  (That makes it less like a wedding and more like any other dinner party with dancing!)

        So, what is a bride to do, to have a wedding that will be remembered amid the many weddings that her family and friends have attended? Here are my suggestions:

1.     Make your Dress One-of-a-kind.

v     Unless you have a huge budget, you will not have the luxury of hiring a designer to put you in a one-of-a-kind wedding gown.  But every bride can do something to make her “off-the-rack” dress special.  Consider adding a one-of-a-kind belt or sash.  It could add a touch of color, or have a very special detail made from a piece of vintage jewelry owned by your grandmother or great aunt.  

v     Pay to have a special alternation done.  By changing the dress’s neckline—adding straps or sleeves you will change the look and make your dress unique.

2. Make your accessories one-of-a-kind.

v     Have a seamstress make your veil—or make it yourself.  Veils can have endless variety.  They can be different colors, different lengths, different shapes, be decorated with glitter, crystals or pearls, have ribbon or lace edging, have embroidery, or even include a monogram or symbol.

v     Have someone make your jewelry or make it yourself.  Bead shops abound and you can even purchase jewelry materials at Michael’s and Joann Fabrics.  It takes a little time, but in the end you will have a piece that is one-of-a-kind.

3.  Make your table settings one-of-a-kind.

v     Instead of setting your centerpiece on the tabletop, try hanging it from the ceiling.  (This will only work in rooms that will allow you to hang things from the ceiling.)

v     Instead of one centerpiece, place a small vase at each place setting (doubling as your wedding favor).

4.  Make your entertainment one-of-a-kind.  You don’t have to go crazy, just take a wedding tradition and make it your own.

v     Everyone has a dance, but what if, on your response cards you gave your guests the opportunity to select a song.  You could incorporate your guest picks into the DJ’s song list and have guests called to the floor to begin the dance they requested.

v     Hire a dance teacher to instruct your guests on how to do a special dance.  It could be an ethnic dance from your family background, or a fun line dance that not everyone knows.

v     Ask your photographer to take a picture of you with each of your guests, by couples or family groups, as part of your receiving line, or at the dinner tables.  Use the photo on your thank you notes giving each guest a remembrance of your day.

        This is not a complete list, but it should get you started.  Ask yourself, what will really make a difference to you on your wedding day and then take the time to make it one-of-a-kind.

Questions to Ask When Hiring a Wedding Planner

Questions to Ask When Hiring a Wedding Planner

        I'm a little frustrated this year with my planning business.  I've been contacted by so many brides, but it has been very difficult to get them to hire me.  I know the problem...I'm not the cheapest planner!!  I've watched over and over as the conversation breaks down as soon as I tell the bride my prices.  I'm writing to say that brides who have only one criteria (the cost) for hiring a planner are making a big mistake.  Unfortunately, they may not know it until their wedding day.

Here are the questions to ask when hiring a Wedding Planner:

1)  How much experience to you have?  (How many years have you been in business?  How many weddings have you planned?)

      There is nothing like experience to equip a planner to be prepared for anything that can happen at a wedding.  I've had to work through problems like bad weather causing the carriage company to cancel just before the grand exit by the bride and groom from the reception, the groom's father passing out at the reception, the DJ company (that had exclusive rights at the venue) arriving late and without all the equipment promised, unexpected guests arriving for dinner, and many other unexpected crises. The first time that something unexpected goes wrong, a novice planner may not know what to do.  An experienced planner can take most things in stride, acting quickly and professionally to solve the problem--often without most people even knowing that a problem existed.  Furthermore, with experience, a good planner will take all the necessary steps to avoid many unexpected problems happening in the first place.

2)  What are your professional connections?

     A good planner should have memberships in professional organizations.  Not only do these groups offer training and on-going support for the planner, but they provide net-working opportunities that acquaint the planner with many other wedding vendors.  Through a professional association, a planner can suggest highly qualified service providers to the bride.  Look for a planner who uses the designation, PBC^TM  (Professional Bridal Consultant).  This is an earned title, achieved through education and experience.

3) Will you provide a complete design plan; including color swatches, floor plan, samples or photos of decor (like centerpieces), and complete description?

     This question assumes that you are using your planner's services in design.  I am sometimes confused by the brides who have hired a literal potpourri of designers.  The bride hires a florist, a caterer who provides table service and linens, a lighting company, a company to provide table menu cards, and a rental company to hang draping and none of these people know what the others are doing! 

4)  Does your fee include attending meetings with vendors and the venue managers?  A good planner will not only attend these meeting with you, but will help you to negotiate the best price and make sure that the services offered are complete.  Inexpensive wedding planners may not include these services, or will add charges to do them.

The bottom line is; "you get what you pay for".  Make sure that all of the services you want are listed on the contract you sign with a planner.  Do not assume that something will be done by the planner.  Ask about it and get it in writing.

DIY Wedding

Being a DIY Bride

I completely understand why women want to be "Do It Yourself" Brides.  The cost of weddings just keeps going up and over the top.  So, why not save a lot of money by using "home made" items in your wedding?

If you aspire to be a DIY Bride, here are some simple guidelines:

1) Only do those things that you have the ability to do.  Here's an example:  One of the cute DIY items that has been around for a while is the wedding signs that are chalkboards.  Cute, shabby chic or rustic, these signs require that you or someone you know is able to write legibly.  Don't try to create your own wedding signs if your handwriting is lousy.

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2)  Only do those things that use quality materials.  The end result can only be as good as the materials you use when you make something.  It may be tempting to buy the cheapest ribbon or plastic beads instead of crystals, but when you are finished, no matter how artistic your rendition may be, it will look like what it is; a cheap, handmade item.

3)  Only do those things that you will not regret. Make sure that if you decide to create a bouquet of paper flowers or carry a clutch you made from left-over fabric and stick-on bling that you won't be regretting it on your wedding day--wondering if spending another $100 would have made you happier.

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4)  Make sure you have figured the time it will take to DIY.  I have made this mistake as a professional planner--only for me it meant that I didn't charge enough for the work I was doing.  The only way to know for sure that you have time to do it yourself, is to actually purchase the materials for making one item, make that item and time how long it takes.  Then you can multiply.  Do you really have the time?

5)  Only do those things that will stand the test of time.  This is a difficult part of wedding planning.  (Whether you are doing it yourself or hiring someone to do it for you.)  The design of your wedding, from your dress to the centerpieces, your florals, even your invitations are things that endure in photographs and keepsake boxes.    Always ask yourself, will I have to explain this or make apologies on my 25th Wedding Anniversary? 

Budgeting for Your Wedding

Image from theweddingcolony.com

I work with many brides whose biggest struggle while planning their weddings is budgeting.  Most brides know how much money they have to spend on their weddings, but often, from the first purchase (usually their wedding gown) they see the money disappearing much faster than they expected.  It isn't much fun worrying about when your money will run out.

According to The Knot, the average wedding costs $27,021.  You could buy a 2012 Dodge Caravan or a 2012 Nisson Altima for that same amount of money.  It's a lot of money, but every bride knows how easy it would be to spend a lot more.  Recently, I found a great page on the Your Wedding Company  website.  It is a free wedding calculator.  Using it, you type in the amount of money you have budgeted for your wedding and it instantly gives you the specific amount that you can afford to spend on each wedding item.  If you are shopping and you find something that costs more or less than the budgeted amount, you can change the price in the calculator and it will instantly update everything else to reflect that price change.  It's really cool!  Find it at:  http://www.yourweddingcompany.com/templates/planning/budget_calc.php/action/showProject/planId/3/  

The Twelve Days of Wedding Planning

I hope you’ll hum along with my song!  It’s chronological, but not a complete list of “to dos” to plan your wedding!!

On the first day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a sparkling diamond on my ring. Of course, it all starts with your engagement.  Many couples are making a special effort to make sure that their diamond is certified as conflict free. A conflict or blood diamond is any diamond that originates from a country where the profits from the diamond industry are funding arms trade or military organizations. You can find jewelers who will certify all of their diamonds as conflict-free.

On the second day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a a Professional Wedding Planner.  The cost of a wedding planner should be off-set by the money that she will save you.  Even if you want to plan your own wedding, a professional planner will make your own planning easier and smoother by suggesting venues and vendors that will fit your budget.  The planner will trouble shoot problems for you.  Everything the follows in this song will go smoother with the advice and assistance of a professional planner.

On the third day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a carefully planned wedding budget.  Very few couples have unlimited money to spend on their wedding.  So before you do anything else talk with your parents and anyone else who might help pay for the wedding, access your own finances and decide on an exact total amount.  Use that amount to decide how much you can spend on each item of your wedding.  Check out this website for help: http://www.weddingplanningonabudget.com/my-wedding-budget.php

On the fourth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a wedding venue. I know that many brides would choose their wedding gown immediately.  That is the wrong order because there are limited venues when you take into consideration your budget and the number of guests.  When you find the perfect venue for your reception you then have the background to “picture” yourself in your gown.

On the fifth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a color scheme. Yes, it is hard to wait, but don’t pick the dress yet.  The venue will have colors (even if they are neutral) and will help you choose your wedding palette.  Also, you may want to include a color on your gown and the colors may determine which white or ivory you choose.  Remember as you plan, that you are going for a completely coordinated look.

On the sixth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a wedding gown. Most brides have a wedding “dream” that includes a vision of themselves in their gown.  There are some practical considerations when you shop.  1. Stay within your budget, including your veil, shoes and jewelry.  2. Study the clothing that you wear that makes you look your best.  Look for similar elements in your gown.  3. Consider comfort.  You will wear your gown for 8 to 12 hours, will be eating in it, and will be posing for photos that you want to look happy and relaxed in. 

On the seventh day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me aWedding theme for my big day. You know where it’s taking place, you know the colors, you have your dress, so now it’s time to plan a theme that will direct your wedding design.  

 On the eighth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me Professional wedding vendors. The best photographers, videographers, bakers, musicians, and DJs fill their schedules early, so it’s important to hire the professionals you want early in the planning.

On the ninth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me wedding invitations. Your save-the-dates and wedding invitations will coordinate with your colors and theme and give your guests a hint of your wedding. 

On the tenth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me a wardrobe for my wedding party.  You should have a pretty firm idea about how you want to dress your bridesmaids before you go with them to look at dresses.  Decide on the color, decide on the length, decide on the formality before you allow input.  Do be considerate about the cost.

On the eleventh day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me beautiful flowers.  Flowers are a key piece of your wedding décor.  They do not have to break the budget and you do not have to settle for silk flowers.  Don’t be afraid to ask for a less expensive floral option.

 On the twelfth day of Wedding Planning my true love gave to me the wedding day of my dreams without a worry.

Perfect planning will result in a flawless day.  Having a coordinator on your day will mean that you and your family will be able to enjoy the day without any concerns.