I talk to a lot of brides and after the wedding day is over, many of them complain that the day went by so fast, they can’t remember it. Considering that it is supposed to be one of the most important events of your life, not to mention it is a once in a lifetime party, you really should remember it! It shouldn’t be a “blur”.
There is a scientific reason why many brides have difficulty remembering their own wedding day—stress! Hormones produced by stress actually affect the part of our brain that processes short-term memory. So, the obvious solution is to reduce the stress.
The best way to make your big day stress less is to pass responsibility to other people. This is a good reason to hire a professional wedding planner and coordinator. You should also plan to have a personal assistant. Choose a friend who isn’t in the wedding party who will happily serve your every need. Finally, make sure you have met and are comfortable with the actual vendors and managers who will be serving you on your wedding day. (They may not be the same people you spoke to when you signed a contract.)
Even if you can’t eliminate all of the anxiety involved in the event, you can still take some steps to improve your memory.
Take a break in your day. When you work on your itinerary, don’t condense the day. It doesn’t have to be; “How much time do we need…?” It can be; “How much time can we give to this activity?” Imagine having time at the spa with the bridesmaids to just sit around and talk over a relaxed brunch. (There’s a memory!) Imagine having time to drive down by the lake in the limousine with your wedding party while having a bottle of champagne. (Another memory!) I met with a bride last week who wants to have time to visit a downtown bar on the way to the reception. (A memory!) Get the idea?
Before your wedding day, make a list of mental “pictures” that you know you don’t want to miss. Spend enough time with your list that you feel confident that you will be looking for these “pictures” throughout your day. A snapshot of your groom’s face as you walk down the aisle—a memory picture of your Dad as he gives you away—a memory of the way your new husband’s arms feel around you during your first dance—another memorable snapshot of the sound of your guests cheering as you make your grand entrance…what’s on your list?
In some Jewish traditions, the celebration includes the yichud. For ten minutes, immediately following the ceremony, the couple spends time alone. One way to savor your wedding day is to find a way to spend some alone time with your new spouse. It could be a walk before or after a photo session, it could time in the limousine on the way to the reception. One of my daughter’s favorite wedding memories is the ten minutes she spent sitting in a hallway with her new husband waiting for the guests to be seated for dinner before their grand entrance. You can create a kind of private moment during your wedding by establishing a secret sign with a special meaning that only you and your spouse understand—like a wink that means “I love you”.
Finally, be careful not to drink too much at your wedding. You know you won’t remember the stuff that happens during your drunken haze. So, enjoy a signature drink, drink some champagne during the toasts, and have your favorite cocktail during the dance, eat some food and keep a clear head.
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