One-of-a-Kind for Your Wedding

One-of-a-Kind

for your Wedding

          Just last week I interviewed a bride about her vision for her wedding.  Over and over she said that she and her fiancé wanted something “different”.  Of course, when I heard that, I wondered if we were headed towards something “odd”—did she want to wear black or have her reception look like a Las Vegas casino?  Fortunately, she didn’t want anything like that; she just wanted some way to have her wedding stand out from all the others so it would be remembered. 

        Weddings, by their very nature have a lot in common.  Allowing for differences in religion or ethnic traditions, the ceremony consists of the couple taking vows, committing themselves to each other in front of witnesses, family and friends.  It is usually followed by a party where food and drinks are served, there are toasts and dancing.  Many couples, in order to have something “different” avoid many of the long-standing traditions like tossing the bride’s bouquet and garter and leaving in a shower of rice.  (That makes it less like a wedding and more like any other dinner party with dancing!)

        So, what is a bride to do, to have a wedding that will be remembered amid the many weddings that her family and friends have attended? Here are my suggestions:

1.     Make your Dress One-of-a-kind.

v     Unless you have a huge budget, you will not have the luxury of hiring a designer to put you in a one-of-a-kind wedding gown.  But every bride can do something to make her “off-the-rack” dress special.  Consider adding a one-of-a-kind belt or sash.  It could add a touch of color, or have a very special detail made from a piece of vintage jewelry owned by your grandmother or great aunt.  

v     Pay to have a special alternation done.  By changing the dress’s neckline—adding straps or sleeves you will change the look and make your dress unique.

2. Make your accessories one-of-a-kind.

v     Have a seamstress make your veil—or make it yourself.  Veils can have endless variety.  They can be different colors, different lengths, different shapes, be decorated with glitter, crystals or pearls, have ribbon or lace edging, have embroidery, or even include a monogram or symbol.

v     Have someone make your jewelry or make it yourself.  Bead shops abound and you can even purchase jewelry materials at Michael’s and Joann Fabrics.  It takes a little time, but in the end you will have a piece that is one-of-a-kind.

3.  Make your table settings one-of-a-kind.

v     Instead of setting your centerpiece on the tabletop, try hanging it from the ceiling.  (This will only work in rooms that will allow you to hang things from the ceiling.)

v     Instead of one centerpiece, place a small vase at each place setting (doubling as your wedding favor).

4.  Make your entertainment one-of-a-kind.  You don’t have to go crazy, just take a wedding tradition and make it your own.

v     Everyone has a dance, but what if, on your response cards you gave your guests the opportunity to select a song.  You could incorporate your guest picks into the DJ’s song list and have guests called to the floor to begin the dance they requested.

v     Hire a dance teacher to instruct your guests on how to do a special dance.  It could be an ethnic dance from your family background, or a fun line dance that not everyone knows.

v     Ask your photographer to take a picture of you with each of your guests, by couples or family groups, as part of your receiving line, or at the dinner tables.  Use the photo on your thank you notes giving each guest a remembrance of your day.

        This is not a complete list, but it should get you started.  Ask yourself, what will really make a difference to you on your wedding day and then take the time to make it one-of-a-kind.

Being a DIY Bride

I completely understand why women want to be "Do It Yourself" Brides.  The cost of weddings just keeps going up and over the top.  So, why not save a lot of money by using "home made" items in your wedding?

            If you aspire to be a DIY Bride, here are some simple guidelines:

1) Only do those things that you have the ability to do.  Here's an example:  One of the cute DIY items that has been around for a while is the wedding signs that are chalkboards.  Cute, shabby chic or rustic, these signs require that you or someone you know is able to write legibly.  Don't try to create your own wedding signs if your handwriting is lousy.

2)  Only do those things that use quality materials.  The end result can only be as good as the materials you use when you make something.  It may be tempting to buy the cheapest ribbon or plastic beads instead of crystals, but when you are finished, no matter how artistic your rendition may be, it will look like what it is; a cheap, handmade item.

3)  Only do those things that you will not regret. Make sure that if you decide to create a bouquet of paper flowers or carry a clutch you made from left-over fabric and stick-on “bling” that you won't be regretting it on your wedding day--wondering if spending another $100 would have made you happier.

 4)  Make sure you have figured the time it will take to DIY.  I have made this mistake as a professional planner--only for me it meant that I didn't charge enough for the work I was doing.  The only way to know for sure that you have time to do it yourself, is to actually purchase the materials for making one item, make that item and time how long it takes.  Then you can multiply.  Do you really have the time?

5)  Only do those things that will stand the test of time.  This is a difficult part of wedding planning… (whether you are doing it yourself or hiring someone to do it for you.)  The design of your wedding, from your dress to the centerpieces, your flowers, even your invites are things that endure in photographs and keepsake boxes.    Always ask yourself, will I have to explain this or make apologies on my 25th Wedding Anniversary?